I am a Pennsylvanian.

I am a Roman Catholic.

I am a member of one of the 6 Dioceses’ named in the recently released grand-jury report.


And every time I am with the reality of evil which lies within this report, both my prayer and my God take me to one thing…


“Jesus wept.” 

John 11:35



He weeps for the victims.

He weeps for the holy and chaste priests, bishops and religious betrayed by their brethren.

He weeps for the devoted men and women of the faith.

He weeps for His Church.


I am trying earnestly not to abandon Him in this His time of need.  I am trying to walk compassionately with the victims.  I am trying to love and support our holy and chaste priests, bishops, and religious.  I am trying to console my heartbroken brothers and sisters in Christ.  And I am trying to assist in healing our Church.  For…


“…to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life.” 

John 6:68

hugs to those who have been patient and kind while we continue to purge the enormity of filth which the evil one has infiltrated into Christ’s Church; a Church for which so many of us love and weep for.


“And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down upon the ground.” Luke 22:44

10 thoughts on “agony

  1. Beautifully put. It reminds me of Jesus, hung and crucified between two thieves. The evil ones will be purged, but there will always be those that want to destroy the church from within.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, Dawn Marie…this is such a difficult revelation…perhaps not totally surprising given what we have been learning during the past couple of years and it rocks us to our core.
    I join you in prayer as we do weep.
    I read an interesting article yesterday by Bishop Gavin Ashenden regarding this story.
    He is the former Anglican priest who was Chaplin to the Queen but left the church due to it having lost its way…he is now with a breakaway US/ Canadian/ African orthodox Anglican church.
    He has been the lone voice sounding the alarm over how the Chruch is capitulating to a sinful culture…appeasing and selling herself out to those who claim homosexuality is ok, that abortion is the right of choice and militant women vying to be clergy.
    Here is a link to his article and I thought it made a great deal of sense…
    I have felt that our daughter-n-law having gotten and taken the job teaching at the middle school at Christ The King Catholic School (which is literally joined to the Archdiocese’s Cathedral as my sign from God that it is time that I made my journey home to Rome…as these sorts of continuing stories make that decision more difficult by the day…
    My prayers are with you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Julie – I have added your discernment to my prayer list. May you continue to seek His guidance for where you are to be. Have you ever read any of Dr. Scott Hahn’s books? I have enjoyed A Father Who Knows Best and Rome Sweet Rome. Both are excellent reads for those with similar promptings from the Holy Spirit being laid on their hearts. Hugs to you as you remain open to His will!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I am not a catholic. I have in my dna deep ‘catholic’ roots. The church is PEOPLE not structure and God KNOWS the weeping cry of all His Holy and Sanctified people. I believe we are in the KINGDOM AGE when all that is not HOLY, ABSOLUTELY HOLY will be purged and revealed and Jesus’s HOLY BRIDE will be made ready for the return of the Bridegroom. Like Rebecca was made ready for Isaac we all who love Christ and KNOW His suffering sacrifice was for the world will look listen, pray, weep and grieve but will become the Holy and perfected people we should be. in this world where secular things are ‘anti-God’. There can not be ‘hidden’ evil covered over anywhere. My prayer will ever be:

    ‘protect the heart, lives and spirits of all who are innocent and retain beauty and Holiness wherever in the Body of Christ it is to be found. Let’s show the world with ONE VOICE that darkness cannot exist in the illumination of the DIVINE LIGHT of a Holy God. Let your Holy Bride be prepared and let it begin in me.” a-men.


  4. Sweetly written, dawnmarie. May you continue to love your church but remember these kinds of purging May happen to remind us to look to Jesus as our true foundation. I am a very “churchy” person; I have been in situations where the church could have almost become my idol. The church May fail us but Christ never will. He will sanctify and cleanse his church. Amen when he does. Although I am not Catholic, I understand your pain. Love to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Oneta. My spirit continues to ache for the victims and their families…tenderly I stand ready to help heal, through every action of love I am called to do in all the ways my Lord leads me. Thank you for your prayers and your compassion. Hugs to you!

      Liked by 1 person

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