I have decided as part of my NaBloPoMo challenge to Reblog posts I have enjoyed reading myself on Saturday & Sundays. Perhaps you too will find something that touches your own heart in a special way as you read along!
I have always appreciated kindness & have made a conscious effort to extend kindness to others, (as God would have me do.) Donna at ayearoflivingkindly.com does a stunning job encouraging those with this same goal to persevere in their efforts to be kind in a sometimes difficult world that we live in! This most recent article touches on the importance of honesty and it’s proper use as we strive to be a conduit of kindness to one another.
The article struck a cord for me due in part to an emotional scar that has been difficult to heal as the result of someone’s “honesty.” Not many years ago someone wrote a defamation letter against our family regarding their “honest” opinion of my loved ones. This letter damaged not only relationships that were already strained, but had such a domino effect that a marriage eventually was destroyed.
I remember the letter trying to be “rationalized.” When we were told the writer was “entitled to their opinion” and “to share it how they wished,” all I kept hearing in my own thoughts was Thumper from the Disney movie Bambi saying…. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” How could a cartoon rabbit in a forest (with an adorable foot-twitch,) have the wisdom to be kind and yet it be so lacking in the actions of this person was fascinating to me in this moment. Admittedly, they were/are entitled to a personal opinion. But…being dishonest, when our honesty has a potential to hurt others, is most times a far kinder gesture to make. God is pleased with our ability to discern when to quietly be dishonest…all as a measure of love.
I’ll be back on Monday with a “giggle” of my own to share, but for now enjoy the beautiful insight from Donna’s site & I pray there will be a special nugget unearthed as a wonderful discovery for you as well!!
“Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.” (Robert Brault)
“I’m just saying this for your own good.”
“Don’t be so thin-skinned. I’m just telling it like it is.”
“Hey, I call it like I see it.”
“Jeesh, you’re so touchy!”
These phrases are often used to justify saying hurtful things. Sometimes the speaker may really believe that the listener needs to hear his unvarnished opinion about the poor sap’s looks, abilities, opinions, or prospects.
Speaking on behalf of poor saps everywhere, we don’t. We don’t need someone to tell us all the things that are wrong with us or all the things we don’t do as well as we should. That’s what that persistent little voice in our own head does—and it doesn’t need any help.
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3 thoughts on “I’m just sayin’ … honesty isn’t always kind”
Dawn Marie, thank you so much for reblogging my post and for your extremely kind comments. I am saddened to hear about the cruelty you and your family experienced that someone justified in the name of honesty. And yes, it sounds like that person lacked the wisdom and discernment of a rabbit! I want very much to believe that most of us will choose kindness if we pause to think before we speak (or write letters!). If our words might be hurtful, we have the power to change them, or to let them float away unsaid. Thank you again, and blessings!
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