journaling – Page 4 – hugsnblessings

Inner Silence

Published on January 26, 2015February 8, 2017 by Dawn Marie7 Comments

St. Faustina’s Diary, which Jesus Christ ordered her to keep during the last four years of her life, is a kind of journal in which the author recorded current or retrospective events related primarily to the “encounters” of her soul with God.

Fr. Seraphim Michalenko served for 20 years as vice postulator for the Saint’s canonization cause & he also prepared the first edition of the Diary of St. Faustina from the original Polish manuscript, working on both the English and Spanish translations. Since the Polish Diary is the official text, there has been every effort made to be truly faithful to it, and to retain the various shades of meaning implied in the theological and spiritual terms used by (Saint) Faustina.

In the course of reading (Saint) Faustina’s Diary, 5 entries a day through the duration of a year, I have learned many things. Some entries more impactful & life-giving than others. One of these especially.

In the Year 1937, Saint Faustina wrote a particular “examen” to aide her with being united with the merciful Christ. She wrote this entry on January 1st. With it she vowed the practice of inner silence, along with the strict observance of external silence; especially in times of being wronged or persecuted by others. As a result of this she was guided to create a chart of “internal control of the soul.” Each month she was given an “examen” to meditate upon, along with an exclamatory prayer. Faustina took these “examens,” or practices, so seriously that she recorded monthly the victories & falls she experienced personally; within her attempts to adhere to each practice.

Inspired by this great act of love & my own desire to live united with Christ, through an internal control of the soul, I dedicated myself to returning back monthly to this particular entry (162) & memorizing each (monthly) practice. My hope was that in this memorization & monthly meditation upon the prescribed practice I could give my best attempt of living out the practice in my own daily life.

Not only was the exposure to these practices a great gift to me but they came during a time of my life of personal difficulty.

Having been a hospice volunteer worker for the past several years I have discovered a lot regarding suffering. I understand that there is so much to be grateful for and that too often life is dramatized as “suffering,” without the slightest realization of what it truly means to experience great pain or loss. I have witnessed so many courageous individuals maintain a great love for life despite the tremendous struggle or sorrow they must face. Love & support are two crucial components in aiding these courageous people during these moments and St. Faustina, through her simply written Diary entries, offered the love & support I needed at a low moment of my life.

It is not easy to be Christ like while being persecuted by others. (Saint) Faustina understood this and she wrote of this beautifully. These monthly “examens” helped to assure her ( in her own moments of doubt,) that she would maintain this desire to glorify God despite her human struggles.

163 (78)”as many times as I breathe, as many times as my heart beats, as many times as my blood pulsates through my body, so many thousand times do I want to glorify Your mercy.”

I do not believe I was fully prepared when the monthly examen for January pierced my soul.

162 But Jesus remained silent.

How desperately had I desired to cry out against those who brought me (and those whom I love) pain. How frightened had I become that others would believe the slander being spun. How lost did I feel to witness the inhumanity of man. Yet, there was my God showing me the way. Bringing me to St. Faustina, who would be my gentle guide.

162 But Jesus remained silent.

Who knew greater how to suffer through persecution unjustly than my God? Who knew more about being mocked and judged than He? And yet…He remained silent. He carried a cross silently, which led to our salvation, so that I would know what to do to remain saved.

And that was how my heart was pierced and forever changed. No longer a desire to speak about the injustices. No longer a panic to prove mine (or those whom I love) innocence. I meditated upon those who trusted in Christ, (when all others turned away,) because they knew who He was, they knew His heart. I laid it all at the foot of His cross and have walked on silently ever since.

And with that abandoned trust I have experienced great personal victory. (Thank you, Lord.) And I have discovered those who know our hearts. (Thank you, Jesus.)

After being guided by The Conscience (monthly) Faustina concluded with a beautiful prayer. I offer a piece of that in my own conclusion of what it has meant for me to learn how to “Remain Silent.”

163 (78) I want to be completely transformed into Your mercy and to be Your living reflection, O Lord. May the greatest of all divine attributes, that of Your unfathomable mercy, pass through my heart and soul to my neighbor.

Help me, O Lord, that my heart may be merciful so that I myself may feel all the sufferings of my neighbor. I will refuse my heart to no one. I will be sincere even with those who, I know, will abuse my kindness. And I will lock myself up in the most merciful Heart of Jesus. I will bear my own suffering in silence. May Your mercy, O Lord, rest upon me.”

hugs n’ blessings!

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Published on January 26, 2015August 3, 2023 by Dawn Marie3 Comments

As I mentioned in the Page description of the Menu on my toolbar entitled Divine Mercy, I spent the past year (2014) reading the entire Diary of St. Faustina (Helena) Kowalska. I hope to spend this next year writing on my personal reflections from that experience and some of the many individual life lessons I took away from this.

This will be my first reflection piece from that experience…

When I began this committment I knew it would be important for me to stay organized, so that I could track my obligation to read 5 entries per day. (Yes, my God gifted me with a few anal-retentive tendencies; however, I prefer to acknowledge that He simply designed me to be “efficiently organized.”)

A selection of entries from the Diary of St. Faustina

As I began reading through her beautiful Diary I knew I would need a way to track & monitor my daily reading commitment. I was inspired to scribble in the sidebar of my copy of the Diary the month (listed at the top) & the day (written directly below this) at the beginning of each day’s commitment. So…the number 3, Day 23; represented March the 23rd as my reference point. The following day’s commitment would then be scribbled at the start of the next “5 entry” series and so on. This pattern quickly proved to work well because it afforded me the ability to always stay on track with a concrete reference point! (Especially with my ever-aging memory!)

On the random occassion, when unexpected situations prevented me from that particular day’s 5 prescribed readings, (yes I must admit that there were infrequent times when I would need to make up for a 2 or 3 day commitment at one sitting!) I could still easily reference my self-prescribed obligation! Also, by mapping out each day’s 5 entry logs, I gave myself the opportunity to look back for those entries which really impacted me, or perhaps tied into reflections I would later make in the days or months that lay ahead.

There was a great calm in the orderliness of it all. And as I begin this year (2015) of personal reflection on the many graces I’ve been given from having read the Diary, there is a fondness in seeing the scribblings of the date when these moments impacted my life & created change for me.

These dates remind me that we truly do not know the hour, the time, or the place, when God’s hand will reach out and transform our hearts with the message he has in store for us. In the writings of Matthew, Chapters 24 & 25, he reminds us we must always watch for Him…

“Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.” Matthew 25:13

When I began the commitment to read St. Faustina’s Diary I had no idea what lay in store and the multitude of messages my God would convey to me. Yet, He knew all along! And thumbing through the Diary yet again…I am in awe of the grace and mercy He has shown me. And I embrace where-ever it is He is now leading me in my visitation of this past year’s journey.

On the 29th day of January I read one of the more impactful entries for myself (each entry made by Saint Faustina is carefully documented numerically.) This particular entry influenced my entire experience with reading the Diary. (Saint) Faustina wrote this entry herself on the 1st of January in 1937 and I used it often to carry & focus me throughout each month of 2014 and still today. (See my Post entitled, Inner Silence; which is a reflection on entry 162, found in her personal Diary on page 77.)

Ultimately, St. Faustina’s Diary is the record of her life experience –the journey of her soul. She was graced by a special communion with God, and the Diary expressed her conviction that this communion ought to be the center of our lives.

Each of us have the ability to experience the power of the Blood and Water that poured out from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of mercy…for us. We must learn to trust in this mercy so that it may help us to find the confidence and peace in the ever-present love of God.

755 O my Jesus, teach me to open the bosom of mercy and love to everyone who asks for it. Jesus, my Commander, teach me so that all my prayers and deeds may bear the seal of Your mercy.

hugs n’ blessings!

The Original Pinterest Board

Published on January 19, 2015May 27, 2015 by Dawn Marie1 Comment

I invented Pinterest.

Seriously.

Just like Al Gore invented the Internet.

Ever discover something new and think to yourself, “I wish I would have thought of that!” (Like dental floss on a stick.) Or even better… Raise your hand if you DID already think of this same new idea; however never imagined taking it to the next step?? (Both of my hands are raised high in the air!)

That’s me! And my son! And Pinterest.

When our youngest son was a little guy (not in stature but in age,) we recognized he was a child of many distracted directions and thoughts. Imagine the dog Doug, from the the popular movie UP….that was our beautiful boy. So kind and tender and full of wonder, a heart full of love & light and naivety. And… easily distracted. (Squirrel!)

He had so many interests. So many passions. So many collections. And he had an equally organized mother who struggled with the accumulations of “matter” attached to these various interests, passions, and collections! We needed a compromised way to organize some of his interests which made us both happy and that’s how the board of pinned interest was invented!

A large board, hung in his leopard-spotted bedroom, which we could “Pin” some of said stuff in an effort to become organized (for my sanity) and less distracted, (for his attention-span!)

If we had only taken our idea to bigger and greater heights. Think of what would have happened had WE been the two to put it ON THE LINE! (Or online.)

When we moved recently from our home of 17 years, our son’s board of pinned interest came with us and has remained much as it was when it hung in his room as a little guy. Looking over the board I’ve enjoyed the memories that have stirred within me and I am grateful to have them displayed to be reminded of the many wonderful interests our son has often had.

And I wonder if we all had this board of pinned interest publicly displayed would we be proud, as believers, of what our Lord would see? Would our interests glorify Him? Or would they horrify? What would our interests say about us as believers? What would Jesus want us to pin?

Recently, I discovered (again too late in the game) that other’s contemplate these same questions. That there is already a great visual discovery tool ON THE LINE networking people with shared visions, thoughts, & interests; who desire to live a life glorifying His holy name.

https://wordpress.com/read/post/id/67048096/577/

when you write a message, share a photo, or a video online, do you stop and think about what it says about you as a believer?

I am enjoying the new discovery of this site and am encouraged by those who set a good example, by their pinned interests, of

“living a life as servants of God.” Peter 2:16

And it truly is okay with me that THEY thought to take this idea to bigger heights before I did. Both my hands are still raised high in the air that I’m like-minded with them!!

Hugs n’ Blessings!