I have been mulling over a BUNCH of stuff recently.
A deep-thinker by nature – this is not an uncommon occurrence.
Most especially, God often places me in a period of contemplation during the Lenten Season. And I must admit, even though the “mulling over” involves different thoughts & matters each year, this liturgical time has become a seasonal rhythm for when God does a good old-fashioned Spring cleaning on me! Yup! Once again, He has been polishing and purging my interior life; which can be a bit painful & perplexing, but always life-giving in the end.
If I told you, “It’s been a heck-of-a-week!” I would be understating matters.
Sweet magical Helen’s passing was the straw that broke my heart.
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Sweet Helen’s quality of life would not recover and would continue to deteriorate, so I made the agonizing decision to put her to sleep.
Anyone who has ever needed to do the same understands, the teetering of thought between, “Is it selfish of me to not step-aside from my own needs to have her here with me, while she continues to suffer?” Or “Is it selfish of me to relieve her of the suffering, because I can no longer continue to watch her deteriorate?”
By the grace of God and a kind & caring Veterinarian, I knew I needed to step aside so that Helen could finally rest in peace.
I have had a lot of wonderful, loving family members and friends ministering to me in these most recent days, for which I am extremely grateful. It is both comforting & humbling to have others supporting you in your grief.
As a result, I have found myself asking “Is it wrong for a Christian to mourn an animal?” I admit that I cried a great deal when I had to put Helen down, both before and after the fact. I brought Helen into our home in 2014, at a period of great despair and tumult within our family, and I sometimes believe if I had suffered through that period alone, I might have completely fell into an unrecoverable despair.
hugsnblessings 